Cultural commentator and political science professor Pia Mefab-Sproutt has launched a blistering attack on eighteenth-century versifying clergymen. 'Their work is old hat,' explains Rehab-Tweett in an official communique translated by her interns from the original Birdsong. 'The clerical verse of tomorrow will be linguistically innovative and free as a young man's armpit. In this way it will attain the criticality required by my Impact Officer at Global Upload College.'

Simon Jarvis is 275; the modern state is a transformed church.